That thing I was talking about earlier...
The following is an email that I typed just a little over one year ago, when I was a 2nd-semester grad student at MSU living in a Lansing apartment. I feel compelled to share this now (and yes, some of you have probably already seen it...) because, I believe that this is truly some of my finest work. Enjoy.
----------------------------------
Greetings, all!
It is currently 0200 (in the morning).
Eastern Standard Time.
On a Sunday.
AND its really kinda hard to type effeciently with no lights on... so hold on a second....
There... much better.
(Yes, this means that the two seconds there *while you were reading this*, I was turning ona light. No, really, I was.)
So, I'm having one of my random insomniac times, so I figured I'd type a bit. It seems like everyone has a web journal these days.. I don't, so I'm just going to send this out directly.
So, what is it that I have to say at 2:00 in the morning? I'm not really sure, other than the fact that I just spent a good 2-3 minutes typing about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Wait a minute, I'm still doing that. Bah... it's a vicious cycle.
I have a class in exactly 5 hours and 57 minutes. I just made a sandwich a few minutes ago... It had ham and Dijon mustard and Mezzetti roasted red peppers. It was quite good, I highly recommend that you all go out and buy some. as soon as possible. You never know when there might be a sudden run on roasted red peppers, and then you mihgt not get any, and then you'd kick yourself for not taking my advice.
And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?
(Random movie quote jumps into brain)
Tim Curry in THree Musketeers: "But now we'll never know... *will* we?"
(We now return to your regularly scheduled incoherent early morning rant, already in progress...)
I'm seriously thinking about getting a dog.
No, I'm not.
No, really, I'm not. The place I'm going to live next year doesn't allow them. And I'd have to feed it and walk it, and that's just a big pain.
But perhaps I should buy prescription shoes... I noticed the other day that every pair of shoes I own leans drastically to the outside. Its too bad we can't rotate our feet like we can rotate tires.
I wonder how much a cup of sugar costs.... cause a single package of Koolaid is only 29 cents... It's entirely possible that the cup of sugar it takes to MAKE that one package of Koolaid is more expenisive than the Koolaid itself....
Hmmm,, it only LOOKS like a bargain. The powerful sugar industry is actually gouging Koolaid drinker for all they're worth. It's a world gone mad, folks.
OK.. I was just amount to make a comment about a certain "shocking moment" during the Super Bowl halftime show.. but then I realized that in doing so, I would continue the awful trend of paying attnetion to silly little celebrity people who think they are way more important than they really are (wow, that was really kinda hateful)
So, I shall decline.
(IF YOU IGNORE THEM, THEY WILL GO AWAY. Please don't feed the celebrities, it only encourages them.)
I found Denis Leary's "No Cure For Cancer" album on Rhapsody earlier this evening... and ah, the memories of that CD. It's awful, but funny....therefore making it awfully funny. "Capital N, small y, BIG F***ing Q!!!"
[Quick note from 2005... Yes, I know the following few sentences are pretty dumb. Deal with it, it's historically accurate to what I typed. =P ]
I haven't yet decided who's going to receive this email, so for those of you who might think it silly for me to censor that last sentence.... well, OK.... Fuck. There. I said it... well, typed it, I suppose. This email is now officially rated "R". Well, I think at ONE point, the "F" word meant an R-rating... I bet you could probably get away with it in PG-13 now. (For reference, there is one fleeting use of it in "Sneakers", still one of the best movies ever, and it was PG-13. I think)
I will award 10 points to anyone who can identify the scene in which it occurs, the line of dialogue spoken, and which character says it. Michael, you don't count, cause I know you know this one. YOU (and only you) can have 20 points (ooooh) if you can tell me... oh, come one, what would be a REALLY good question.... if you can tell me how Dr. Gunter Janek met his untimely demise. Oh, OK, anyone else, if you know it, you can have the points, too.
And, no... I dont really keep track of them.
*Inspirational speech*
THERE MAY COME A DAY... WHEN I KEEP TRACK OF THE POINTS....
BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!
Some people won't get that. But I'm OK with that.... really.
0225 (AM)... in the morning.
I work for the Bureau of the Office of Redundancy Department. Efficiency fears us. (That last sentance may *look* awkward... but that is actually what I mean. Look at it again.)
You may be wondering exactly what mind-altering drugs I'm on right now.... but be assured: I am NOT sharing with ANY of you. :-)
THey're MINE, I tell you, ALL MINE.
OK, since *I* was disturbed by that last outburst... I shall officially retract it. You never read it.. it was jsut an illusion. The fact that you can scroll up and read it again does nothing to prove that it was not an illusion. Trust me on this... would *I* lead you astray? *innocent look*
0231....4 hours, 29 minutes until the alarm will ring.
I bet I'm going to have coffee tomorrow morning. Fortunately, there are a few times during the day when I'll able to take a quick nap. All will be well.
Enough about that... On to religion and politics... the two subjects GUARUNTEED to start a fight and get at least 2 people mad at you.
Well, actually, I might give you a rant on these two subjects, If I HAD a coherent position on either of them.
I'm seriously thinking of voting for Kerry if he's the nominee, but probably not if it's Dean. Can't really tell you WHY I dont like Dean... call it a bad vibe or whatever. But I havent totally given up on Dubya, either. None of them are perfect. (Of course) It's just a matter of deciding which issues are worth compromising on, and which aren't.
[Hi! 2005 here again... and for the record, I'm not entirely sure *why* I said that... Although another interesting (?) piece of election trivia about me is that I called two friends of mine with opposite political leanings from the parking lot of my polling place, and asked them to convince me why I should vote for their candidate.]
But enough about that.
That paragraph was not very fun at all.... now I'm not quite in the ZONE.... I'm having to THINK about what to write next...
Come on, come one, back in the zone, back in the zone.
FISH!
There is a piece of tape on the back of the "Best Thespian" plaque in Mrs. Hayes' office. That piece of tape is now 10 years old. Impressive life span for a piece of masking tape. I was there the day it was placed there. 100 points to the person who can tell me who put it there. (Apologies to those of you who have NO idea what I'm talking about).
ANd with that, Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe I shall retire.
Tomorrow shall be a good day.
"Too early for flapjacks?"
Good night, my friends. This rant is taking the place of my yearly "New Year's email", since it is now offically one month past due. Sorry about that. I suppose this one wasn't NEARLY as deep.... but deep is sometimes depressing.
Anyway.... give a holler back. (Yes, I just said "holler" Get over it.)
Intil-zha, veni
Illegitimus Non Carborundum
-James Seth Farrow, 02 February 2004, 0253 EST
---------------------------------
Ok, back to 2005 now.
So... I guess that this "reprise" of earlier attractions is *also* taking the place of *this* year's "New Year's Email"... cause I didn't... do one of those this year.... either. Wow, I'm a slacker.
Later, kids.
----------------------------------
Greetings, all!
It is currently 0200 (in the morning).
Eastern Standard Time.
On a Sunday.
AND its really kinda hard to type effeciently with no lights on... so hold on a second....
There... much better.
(Yes, this means that the two seconds there *while you were reading this*, I was turning ona light. No, really, I was.)
So, I'm having one of my random insomniac times, so I figured I'd type a bit. It seems like everyone has a web journal these days.. I don't, so I'm just going to send this out directly.
So, what is it that I have to say at 2:00 in the morning? I'm not really sure, other than the fact that I just spent a good 2-3 minutes typing about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Wait a minute, I'm still doing that. Bah... it's a vicious cycle.
I have a class in exactly 5 hours and 57 minutes. I just made a sandwich a few minutes ago... It had ham and Dijon mustard and Mezzetti roasted red peppers. It was quite good, I highly recommend that you all go out and buy some. as soon as possible. You never know when there might be a sudden run on roasted red peppers, and then you mihgt not get any, and then you'd kick yourself for not taking my advice.
And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?
(Random movie quote jumps into brain)
Tim Curry in THree Musketeers: "But now we'll never know... *will* we?"
(We now return to your regularly scheduled incoherent early morning rant, already in progress...)
I'm seriously thinking about getting a dog.
No, I'm not.
No, really, I'm not. The place I'm going to live next year doesn't allow them. And I'd have to feed it and walk it, and that's just a big pain.
But perhaps I should buy prescription shoes... I noticed the other day that every pair of shoes I own leans drastically to the outside. Its too bad we can't rotate our feet like we can rotate tires.
I wonder how much a cup of sugar costs.... cause a single package of Koolaid is only 29 cents... It's entirely possible that the cup of sugar it takes to MAKE that one package of Koolaid is more expenisive than the Koolaid itself....
Hmmm,, it only LOOKS like a bargain. The powerful sugar industry is actually gouging Koolaid drinker for all they're worth. It's a world gone mad, folks.
OK.. I was just amount to make a comment about a certain "shocking moment" during the Super Bowl halftime show.. but then I realized that in doing so, I would continue the awful trend of paying attnetion to silly little celebrity people who think they are way more important than they really are (wow, that was really kinda hateful)
So, I shall decline.
(IF YOU IGNORE THEM, THEY WILL GO AWAY. Please don't feed the celebrities, it only encourages them.)
I found Denis Leary's "No Cure For Cancer" album on Rhapsody earlier this evening... and ah, the memories of that CD. It's awful, but funny....therefore making it awfully funny. "Capital N, small y, BIG F***ing Q!!!"
[Quick note from 2005... Yes, I know the following few sentences are pretty dumb. Deal with it, it's historically accurate to what I typed. =P ]
I haven't yet decided who's going to receive this email, so for those of you who might think it silly for me to censor that last sentence.... well, OK.... Fuck. There. I said it... well, typed it, I suppose. This email is now officially rated "R". Well, I think at ONE point, the "F" word meant an R-rating... I bet you could probably get away with it in PG-13 now. (For reference, there is one fleeting use of it in "Sneakers", still one of the best movies ever, and it was PG-13. I think)
I will award 10 points to anyone who can identify the scene in which it occurs, the line of dialogue spoken, and which character says it. Michael, you don't count, cause I know you know this one. YOU (and only you) can have 20 points (ooooh) if you can tell me... oh, come one, what would be a REALLY good question.... if you can tell me how Dr. Gunter Janek met his untimely demise. Oh, OK, anyone else, if you know it, you can have the points, too.
And, no... I dont really keep track of them.
*Inspirational speech*
THERE MAY COME A DAY... WHEN I KEEP TRACK OF THE POINTS....
BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!
Some people won't get that. But I'm OK with that.... really.
0225 (AM)... in the morning.
I work for the Bureau of the Office of Redundancy Department. Efficiency fears us. (That last sentance may *look* awkward... but that is actually what I mean. Look at it again.)
You may be wondering exactly what mind-altering drugs I'm on right now.... but be assured: I am NOT sharing with ANY of you. :-)
THey're MINE, I tell you, ALL MINE.
OK, since *I* was disturbed by that last outburst... I shall officially retract it. You never read it.. it was jsut an illusion. The fact that you can scroll up and read it again does nothing to prove that it was not an illusion. Trust me on this... would *I* lead you astray? *innocent look*
0231....4 hours, 29 minutes until the alarm will ring.
I bet I'm going to have coffee tomorrow morning. Fortunately, there are a few times during the day when I'll able to take a quick nap. All will be well.
Enough about that... On to religion and politics... the two subjects GUARUNTEED to start a fight and get at least 2 people mad at you.
Well, actually, I might give you a rant on these two subjects, If I HAD a coherent position on either of them.
I'm seriously thinking of voting for Kerry if he's the nominee, but probably not if it's Dean. Can't really tell you WHY I dont like Dean... call it a bad vibe or whatever. But I havent totally given up on Dubya, either. None of them are perfect. (Of course) It's just a matter of deciding which issues are worth compromising on, and which aren't.
[Hi! 2005 here again... and for the record, I'm not entirely sure *why* I said that... Although another interesting (?) piece of election trivia about me is that I called two friends of mine with opposite political leanings from the parking lot of my polling place, and asked them to convince me why I should vote for their candidate.]
But enough about that.
That paragraph was not very fun at all.... now I'm not quite in the ZONE.... I'm having to THINK about what to write next...
Come on, come one, back in the zone, back in the zone.
FISH!
There is a piece of tape on the back of the "Best Thespian" plaque in Mrs. Hayes' office. That piece of tape is now 10 years old. Impressive life span for a piece of masking tape. I was there the day it was placed there. 100 points to the person who can tell me who put it there. (Apologies to those of you who have NO idea what I'm talking about).
ANd with that, Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe I shall retire.
Tomorrow shall be a good day.
"Too early for flapjacks?"
Good night, my friends. This rant is taking the place of my yearly "New Year's email", since it is now offically one month past due. Sorry about that. I suppose this one wasn't NEARLY as deep.... but deep is sometimes depressing.
Anyway.... give a holler back. (Yes, I just said "holler" Get over it.)
Intil-zha, veni
Illegitimus Non Carborundum
-James Seth Farrow, 02 February 2004, 0253 EST
---------------------------------
Ok, back to 2005 now.
So... I guess that this "reprise" of earlier attractions is *also* taking the place of *this* year's "New Year's Email"... cause I didn't... do one of those this year.... either. Wow, I'm a slacker.
Later, kids.
posted by Seth | 2:05 PM
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